New Fitness Motivation

by Jeri
(Hawaii)

Recently I saw an aunty I haven't seem in a while & she took one look at my runner's legs (I was wearing short shorts) & she commented, "You got fatter." I pointed at my thighs, smiled sweetly, & replied, "They're not fat...they're all muscle". She just laughed then walked away towards my other cousins & proceeded to tell them one by one how fat they looked & to the ones who were still young & slender she'd warn them "When you turn 40 you'll get fat".OMG!

Of course, I didn't let her get to me because she had also told me once I looked too skinny & weak (that's when I first lost all of my weight). My response to her then was to flex my arm muscles & reply "I'm not weak...I'm strong."

I've learned jealous and insecure people will find a way to cut you down no matter what and the best way to deal with it is to hold your head up high & show them you are confident and won't get rattled by their remarks.

That said, I just found out we're having a big family bbq at the beach late next month & that aunty (along with a few unsupportive & jealous relatives) will be there. I know I look pretty good already (pardon my modesty) but I feel like I can look even better and I feel I can use this bbq as a good motivator to kick my fitness goals up a notch (then I can plan a "recovery week" afterwards).

So starting next month I really want to tone up. Basically, I want to showcase my arm muscles a little more so I want to focus on some upper body workouts. Also, I'm finally up to 30 minutes of continuous jogging 3x/week (no knee pain!) so I'll probably add 1 more day of cardio using elliptical intervals. Of course, I still want to maintain flexiblity with yoga & mobility exercises. In addition, I know my nutrition needs some improvement (eating a little more bad carbs than I want to) - so I was excited when I got your last Fatloss Diet e-mail. Just checking in with you...am I on the right track?

Also, I figure this will be my birthday gift to myself as I turn 39 yrs old next month too =)




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New Fitness Motivation

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underlying fitness motivations
by: Monica

Hey Jeri

I've seen many of your pics and your legs look great! You have no idea how much that kind of thing pisses me off. Family is the worst because those are the people you love and the ones you think will support you. It seems no matter what you do somebody always has something to say about how you look.

My first husband told me my butt was getting too big once My 2nd said it was skinny. One of my managers when I was a dancer told me I needed to lose 5-10 lb for an audition, the same year my family told me I was too skinny and I should stop starving myself.

I've had co-workers tell me "you don't look the part and you need to get to work on getting ripped", at the same time had co-workers tell me I was too skinny and didn't look the part!!! Both were haters who couldn't stand that an average girl like me was top 10 in p.t. sales for Bally's in the entire state of AZ (competing against 100+ better looking trainers and doing it for 10 months consecutively before moving up to management).

I've had clients criticize the way I look because they were feeling down about their own life and then come in the following week and tell me how good I look. WTF?

FACT: It's NEVER about you. I learned this by reading The Four Agreements. People will attack you about how you look because they are usually miserable with their own body, job, love life, etc. NEVER ever allow this thing to be your motivating factor.

I think your plan sounds great but I think it's important to spend some time journaling and finding out what it is that truly motivates you to want to look good. This helped me a lot back when I thought I needed to be anorexic to dance or have a six pack to train.

I think you are just beautiful and most women would love to have legs like yours. Don't let this kind of thing even be part of what motivates you.

Use that BBQ date and the negativity as fuel but work on finding your underlying fitness motivation and do it for those reasons : ) instead. You will get much better results when you focus on what truly matters to you.

Check out this cool video. Stage 2 is what to focus on. I always do this exercise with new clients.


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I can always count on you
by: Jeri

Hi Monica,
Wow...I thought I had it rough with comments from my co-workers & family. I guess working in the world of fitness also has it's drawbacks in the form of unfriendly competition. Thank you for sharing your struggles with me...I really appreciate it because it helps me to put things in perspective.

I also appreciate you just telling me how it is. I've been so focused for the past 7 months trying to heal my knees so I could start running again and now that I have I was searching for a new motivator. I used to think that competing in 10k races would keep me motivated to stay fit. Iím over doing races because thatís what got me injured in the first place because I didnít allow for enough training time and I pushed myself to beat my last 10k race time.

Your response reminded me of where I was before I got injured. I read something about ďintrinsicĒ motivation (I think it was in Tom Venutoís blog) and I started really thinking about what really moves me to get up & workout at 5:00 am most days of the week as well as why I choose to nourish my body with whole foods (rather than indulging in crap like I used to). Then I got sidetracked by my injury. I believe itís time to revisit this path of thinkingÖ.I just needed a reminder =)

I went ahead and ordered the book you recommended and I canít wait to read it. Do you have any other similar books you would recommend?

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Having vision will help you stay on track
by: Monica

It's easy to forget our real reasons sometimes. Life can really get hectic and confuse you at times (especially when injured).

I love Tom's psychology of fatloss articles. This passage is from his book The Body Fat Solution: Five Principles for Burning Fat, Building Lean Muscle, Ending Emotional Eating, and Maintaining Your Perfect Weight.

Tom writes "each time you achieve a goal, you have to keep asking what's next? If you have a vision, the next step is an obvious natural progression.

Vision, the never ending pursuit of new goals, and personal improvement will be the driving forces that inspire, motivate, and energize you for the rest of your life. i.e.

Goal: To lose a hundred pounds
Vision: To easily maintain my ideal weight, improve my health, increase my quality of life, and inspire other people with my success story

Goal: To complete a full triathlon.
Vision: To continously improve my performance and become the best athlete I can be.

Putting a man on the moon before the end of the decade was a goal. The exploration and conquest of space is a vision."

We all have vision. Sometimes we just get sidetracked : )

Other books you might enjoy are Dan Millman's No Ordinary Moments and Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives.

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